The official definition of a guiri is a foreigner or tourist in Spain. Whether you're a beered up Brit, sandal loving German, or baseball loving American, then the Spanish will see you as a guiri, no matter how long you stay.
The other day I was out walking with my fiancée and dog down San Jose Street just past the tapas bar Levies. The pavement on San Jose can be thin at times so we were walking in the road when this mad old Spanish bloke (mad because he was wearing a shirt and trousers in 40 degree heat) jogged into the road so that we could pass.
"Extranjeros primera, extranjeros primera," he said, smiling. He was being polite, moving out the way so that we could continue on the pavement. The funny thing was that he assumed my Spanish fiancée was a guiri too; it happens a lot due to her fair skin and hair.
Sevillanos aren’t always pleasant to guiris though. The other Sunday morning we were blatantly overcharged for breakfast in Alfalfa because the waiter thought we were guiris. When Chia started speaking in her Andaluz accent the waiter apologized and brought out the new, €3 cheaper, bill.
On various other occasions I’ve been overcharged for things so I’ve turned into a picky paranoid customer, checking every bill in case anyone is trying to get one over me, especially at the moment in the crisis.
Chatting with other Sevillaguiris, I’ve found that once you move out of the centre petty short changing stops. I work in Montequinto, a small town outside, and there no one would dream of treating you different.
Life can be great, but also hard, as a guiri. Apart from the obvious reasons of excellent weather, better food, and missing family and friends at home, here my top 6 reasons why I like and dislike being a guiri.
Pros
1- When the weekend arrives, in my case on Friday afternoon, I feel like I’m on holiday.
2- There’s more time. Working a 35 hour week gives much more time to enjoy the finer things in life, such as travelling, sampling good wine, and learning how to juggle.
3- The buzz. I still get that buzz when I wake up in the morning and remember that I live in Spain, and not in drizzly England.
4- Football. Sorry lads, but if you didn’t know then we get 2 live Premiership and 2 La Liga games every week, for free.
5- Speaking two languages. If I hadn’t made the plunge and decided to live in Spain, then I’d never have learnt Spanish. It’s a bizarre experience and something I recommend to everyone.
6- The simple life. In England everyone is busy rushing about trying to do this and that, earn as much as they can, and stress themselves out. I’m not saying living here is easy, but it’s simpler, and less stressful.
Cons
1- Not being able to pronounce my name. I’m not as gifted as other guiris at rolling their r’s. Saying my name is a chore. I normally end up getting called Bally, but now that Barry is playing for Manchester City more people know it.
2- Telephoning. This stems from number 1. Sometimes it’s impossible for me to order a pizza, try to change my mobile plan, query a doubt on my telefonica bill, because I can’t speak Andaluz. I normally go to the shop.
3- Cars not stopping at zebra crossings. This isn’t only for guiris, but it drives me mad. The worst are taxis, they’d sooner run over your foot that lose a couple of centimos stopping.
4- Football. Yeah, I know it’s a pro, but I do miss a good bit of footy banter and a live Prem game now and then. La Liga is good, but it’s just not the same.
5- The dry British sense of humour. I’ve lived with five different Spanish lads and none of them had a similar sense of humour. That’s not true for everyone, but generally a lot of my jokes go astray.
6- Knowing that I’ll always be a guiri. No matter how much I improve my Spanish or how many kids we have; I’ll always be el guiri inglés who can’t say his own name.
Fellow Sevillaguiris may agree, or disagree with my top 6, feel free to leave a comment. If you’re thinking of coming to live in Seville then I’d recommend it, that’s if you like the simple life, and especially if you can roll your r’s.
I wouldn't change being a guiri for the world.
Thanks for this article! My wife and I are moving to Seville in a few months and enjoyed it.
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