U2 at Seville

U2 were amazing live.


The concert was worth waiting for. Almost a year after I bought the tickets, we saw Bono and his crew perform in front of 80,000 fans last week (30th September).

The Estadio Olympico had never seen so many people in a concert before. We had seats right at the top, a bit far from the stage, but we could see everything. It didn’t matter where we were though because the show was brilliant.

Before U2 came on the crowd were in a lively mood, despite the rubbish Interpol support band, and a Mexican wave whizzed round several times.

They came out to David Bowie's Major Tom and then kicked off with Return of the Stingray Guitar.

 


They played a mixture of classics and new stuff. My best ones were One, Vertigo, Sunday Bloody Sunday, and Magnificent.

Here’s the full playlist.

01. Return Of The Stingray Guitar
02. Beautiful Day
03. New Years Day
04. Get On Your Boots
05. Magnificent
06. Mysterious Ways / My Sweet Lord (snippet)
07. Elevation
08. Until The End Of The World/ Anthem (snippet)
09. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For / Many Rivers To Cross (snippet)
10. North Star
11. Mercy
12. Happy Birthday / In A Little While
13. Miss Sarajevo
14. City of Blinding Lights
15. Vertigo
16. Relax (snippet) / Crazy Tonight (Remix) / Relax (snippet) / Two Tribes (snippet)
17. Sunday Bloody Sunday
18. MLK
19. Walk On / You’ll Never Walk Alone (snippet)
20. One
21. Amazing Grace / Where The Streets Have No Name / All You Need Is Love (snippet)
22. Ultra Violet (Light My Way)
23. With Or Without You
24. Moment Of Surrender

Seeing U2 live was the best concert I’ve been to so far. The main stage was set out in 360 degrees and had moving walkways connecting to a circular platform.

Bono rarely stayed in the same place, moving from one side of the stage to the other and getting close to the fans, some of whom had queued up three days to get to the front.

Bono picked one lucky Sevilliana from the crowd to dance with him, even I was jealous.

The event was a success, apart from Interpoo, who were poo. There were no problems with the crowd and everyone was in a jolly mood. Friends of mine said they heard the music from the centre of town.

Hopefully, after U2, other large bands will choose Seville. Last year Madonna came. I’m hoping to see the likes of Robby Williams, Coldplay, and perhaps Elton John.

1 + 1 = 4

Yet again, a waiter tried to con us.


We went out for some Saturday night tapas to Casa La Vuida in Calle Albareda. We’d been there a few times before and like the cosy traditional bar which has reasonable prices considering its right in the centre.

The heavy rain kept most people in doors, but we still had to stand at the bar next to a stinking bucket of boquerones – small slender silver fish. I’m unsure why they were on the bar, with their gormless eyes staring at the customers, but they were.

The five waiters dressed in white and red stripy shirts were rushing about taking orders, shouting at the chef (there was only one), and arguing with each other.

‘What’s your problem?’ said our bossy waiter to a new one.

‘What?’

‘Did you ask that man if he wanted ham or fish croquettes?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I heard you; you just presumed he wanted ham, didn’t you?’

‘So what?’

‘So what? You know you must give them the option, now go back and ask.’

So there was some tension flying about.

We ate, drank a couple of beers, and asked for the bill.

‘They’ve done it again,’ I said to Chia.

‘What?’

‘How many beers did I have?’

‘Two.’

‘What does that say?’ I said, showing her the bill.

‘Four.’

I was proud of myself for not getting in a mood with the waiter. I told him I only had two beers and he changed the bill. But there was no apology, no smile, and no tip.

It doesn’t take a maths graduate to know that 1 + 1 = 2. I’d like to believe that the waiter made an honest mistake, but I don’t.

So my advice is check your bills. Spain is in a time of crisis like the rest of the world, but it seems all right that they can try to get one over the rich guiris, if only.

Strike one, Strike two, Strike three, we’re outta there

Grab your loudspeakers, whistles, and pink silly string because it’s time to join the masses and strike. This Wednesday, 29th of September 2010, Spain’s angry, frustrated, and tired workers will take to the streets and cause some grief.


Why is there a strike?

The Huelga General is a strike by the workforce in Spain. The idea is to express the anger and disappointment at the government for social cut backs, lack of support, and failure to initiate a solution to the massive economic crisis in Spain.

Spaniards, and guiris, have had enough of the government taking advantage of the recession and ‘policies’ to rectify one of the worst Spanish unemployment rates in history, almost 7 million.

What have, or haven’t, the government done?

• Failed to create jobs.

• Made it easier for employers to sack staff.

• Reinforced employer’s power to change working conditions, including pay and hours.

• Privatised the management of unemployment.

• Not given guiris free Spanish lessons.

• Taken away terrestrial TV’s rights to show Premiership matches (Officially they lost the rights to Canal plus, but that’s my main sore point)

What can you shout?

NO al despido más fácil y barato! No dismissal easier and cheaper!

NO a la temporalidad abusiva! No to the temporary abuse!

NO a dar más poder a los empresarios! No to giving more power to employers!

NO a la congelación de las pensiones! No to freezing pensions!

NO a los recortes salariales y sociales! No to salary and social cutbacks!

No al Premiership partidos con canal plus! No to Canal plus showing Premiership matches!

How can it affect you?

Officially, about 9% of the population are thought to participate, but there could be more on the day. Buses, metros, and trams may close as well as some shops, gyms, and kiosks. There might be aggressive demonstrators out there looking for trouble, so whatever you do, don’t dress up as President Zapatero and go round trying to shake everyone’s hand. Things could get messy.

Who’s going to strike?

I would, but if I do, then I don’t get paid. This might be why only 9% are going to strike; the situation is tight at the moment. What are your thoughts though? Are you going to join the masses and parade the streets showing your disappointment? Are you going to continue as normal?

This is a photo taken when Zapatero found out he hadn't made the Spanish international team last summer, let's hope he's this gutted tomorrow.

How long does it take to fry an egg?

It depends how crazy the chef is.



The annual Feria de las Naciones is back in Seville again and running until the 1st of November. We checked it out last night after some tapas at Azabache (where, yet again, I had a row with a waiter), which is just round the corner from the Cathedral.

The Feria had a lively crowd of bohemian spectators, which suited us as there weren’t so many pompous Sevillianos (I was still angry from the tapas bar), and we had a great night, especially after trying Japanese Sake, Greek Ouzo, Australian and Argentinean wine, Asturian Cider, and finally Brazilian Rum.

Every night there are various dance shows, including Salsa, Samba, Tango, and Flamenco, as well as impersonators of ABBA, Elvis Presley, Dirty Dancing, and Michael Jackson.

Last night was the famous ‘Egg Frying Band’ from Africa.

The Five Fryers, as I preferred to call them, were happy go lucky Africans who knew how to play the bongos, dance and entertain the crowd, and, mostly importantly, fry an egg.

After various dances and fire swallowing, the cheekiest of the group set up a mini stove on the craziest of the group’s stomach. He balanced several wooden strips and set it alight. Then they bought out their lovely assistant, or rather grabbed someone from the crowd, and make her fry the egg.

But did she fry it?

 

Of course she did.

The crowd went wild when the egg was done, but they refused to try it; if it’s not mixed with potatoes in Sevilla, they don’t want to know.

As mentioned before, we had tapas in Azabache. The food was excellent quality, but the staffs were a bunch of losers. When I entered, a chef said to a waiter ‘Look, here comes an American,’ as if I’m American, and as if I can’t understand what you’re saying you muppets. I ignored them, ordered, and enjoyed the meal.

‘I bet they try and rip us off in here,’ I said to Chia before asking for the bill. They did. They’d charged me for a more expensive wine.


‘Sorry, but I asked for this wine, not that wine,’ I said to the waiter, pointing out the cheaper one.


‘Oh yeah, well we didn’t have any of that, so we gave you the other one.’


‘Yeah, but I didn’t ask for that, and the waiter didn’t tell me there wasn’t any.’


‘Yeah, but you drank it, didn’t you?’ Chia took over to stop me exploding.


‘Okay, I’ll charge you for the other wine,’ he said, huffing. When I handed over the money he gave me a dirty look.


‘Have you got a problem?’ I asked.


‘No, and you?’


‘Well, yeah I do actually,’ I said, explaining that I wasn’t a wine connoisseur and someone should have told me about the different wine.


We left without a giving tip, and a sarcastic buenas noches, muchisimas gracias.


How much was the difference I hear you ask?


50 centimos.


It’s the principal.

Fuertebumtura

I've never seen so many naked people in all my days.


Back from an excellent all inclusive holiday in Fuerteventura, the Canary Island's second largest and possibly windiest island. We stayed on the South Coast in Jandia, not the liveliest place in the world; this bloke was the only street entertainment we could find.

Why would you do that?

There is over 20km of beach on the Jandia coast, and I've just found out, after returning, that all the beaches are considered unofficial naturist beaches. In other words, if you fancy getting that all over tan then Fuertebumtura is perfect.

I wish I'd known before though. I'd still have gone, but at least I'd have been prepared for glimpses of 60 year old women's frontbums and the odd hanging meat and two veg, not nice after a fried sausage sandwich.

To start with I thought it was funny; I'd only been on a nudist beach once before, in Mazunte on the South Coast of Mexico, but there had only been a few French bare bodies. But as the week past, certain events changed my views. One day we saw a fifty year old man prancing about naked in the sea, but with his seven-year old daughter, or possibly granddaughter, it didn't seem right. On several occasions, mature, and I'm talking very mature, women strolled past with their red raw sagging breasts collecting sand and their frontbums, hairless, reflecting the golden sun.

One thing I didn't understand was why most of the naked people were over 50. It was as if they'd reached and age and thought "Well, I'm old and wrinkly, everyone knows, so why not show all my lines of experience to the world." And I mean all lines. The younger beach goers were happy keeping their clothes on, so why did the pensioners have to show everything? I'm all for feeling free and liberal, but it was strange seeing a beach rammed with fully swimming costumed bathers while the odd naked couple would waltz through, leaving nothing to the imagination.

On the way to the supermarket one morning, which was a short trek along the side of the motorway, I spotted another nudist joint, but this one was behind closed doors.
"I wonder what's over there," I said to Chia as we past a white wall. "Shit, have a look at that." Over the wall was a swimming pool with several blue sun beds dotted about. On each sun bed, catching some early morning rays, was a bum.

That didn't bother me so much, why should it? If the nudists are in an area and want to be naked together, then that's fine. I thought it was odd, but it was my fault for being a nosey parker.

I don't want to sound as though I didn't have a good time, it was the best holiday I've had with Chia and Fuertebumtura has some amazing beaches. I won't go back, not because of the swinging beach balls and glistening frontbums, but there are too many other places to see in this world.

Did we make it?

Yes, we did.

Did anyone see Pepa wiggling about in her bag?

Yes, they did.

Was it the driver?

No it wasn't, and that's the important thing.

It was a nervy five minute wait in the queue, especially when the driver opened the doors and everyone moved forward. Pepa squirmed about in the bag, but I managed to sneak her past the driver and shot up the back

As it was 3pm the bus was half empty so no one saw when I opened the bag up so Pepa could poke her head out and get some air. It was hot and stuffy on the bus and I was glad it was only for two and a half hours. At Huelva the driver cut off the air con so the bus boiled up, as did Pepa.

So who did see her?
Two American women had spotted her in the queue at Plaza de Armas.
'We knew you had a doggy in there,' said one as Pepa stumbled out the bag in Ayamonte. 'It was wiggling the whole time in the queue.'
So there you go, if you need to transport your dog on a bus then it's possible. I don't know why they don't allow them anyway, I'd happily pay an extra charge.
It was definitely worth the risk. Watching Pepa run about the beach and play in the sea was great fun. She loved it, but is now depressed to be back in the oven flat in Seville.
I'm off on holiday now to Fuerteventura so won't be writing until the middle of September, hopefully with some stories when I get back.

The test to Isla Canela

It's been decided. Pepa is off to the beach, in her funny stripy dogbagthing.

I'm a bit nervous. I keep having visions of scary Spanish grandmothers grassing me up, or Pepa barking at innocent passengers in the queue. The key is getting past the first man, the driver, and then keeping Pepa quiet for the two and a half hour journey.

If I get caught, I'm either going to play the dumb guiri 'What do you mean I can't take my dog on the bus? I called the lady last week and she said I could,' or go for the 'What? I've done this thousands of time, last week I took a husky down and no one even mentioned it, the driver even let her sit at the front with him.'

It'll be a miracle if nothing cynical happens, I know that someone will spot her, it's just a question of quietening them down before they announce it to the bus.

Who knows, the driver might be a mad dog lover and reveal his passion for changing the bus laws. I'm going to try to film it anyway, so log in on Monday for video footage.

Have a good one.

A smuggler's life for me?

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of Spanish port, dogport.

Everyone is at the beach, at least everyone I know in Seville, which is five people at the moment because in August this place is deserted.

The dilema is, shall I risk smuggling my dog, Pepa, a Westie, on the bus this Thursday? If I don't then I'll be stuck at home all weekend while my lady and her family sun it up, and I'll be left here socrching in the Sevillian heat. I have a special doggy carrier bag that I'm going to disguise with my t-shirt.

I've never tried it before, never had to, but what if I get caught?

Here's my worst case scenario.

I make it on the bus. Pepa has kept still and I've managed to get past the driver and have a free seat next to me, I relax. But half way through the journey a chubby Spanish grandmother, who is petrified of dogs, especially Westies because when she was seven a Westie attacked her favourite doll, has to sit on the only free seat, next to me.

She squeezes up, making me shift over, and peers down between my legs.

Then she screams.

'HAY UNA PERRA, HAY UNA PERRA, ME VA A MORDER - it's going to bite me.'

'Shit,' I mutter. The driver storms over.

'You have to put it underneath,' he says, pointing towards the door.

'I can't, it's over 40 degrees, it'll die.'

'Well you have to get off the bus.'

'But we're in the middle of an abandoned village, how will I get back?'

'Me va a morder,' says the abuela.

'You have to get off the bus,' says the driver. Everyone else starts to tut and moan, and they force me off the
bus.

Then I have to pay 100 euros for a taxi to the beach.

That's my worst case scenerio, my best is that I'll get away with it, either way, log in next week to find out what happened.

Bienal de Flamenco

From the 15th of September until the 9th of October the Bienal flamenco festival will be in Seville.
There's something to do every day for three and a half weeks, ranging from guest star appearances, flamenco for kids, classics from the 21st century, and newcomers for the future.

Star guests include Kiko Veneno, David Carmona, Grito, Cádiz Eterna, and Los Chichos.

The seven venues are Teatro de la Maestranza, Teatro Lope de Vega, Teatro Central, Teatro Alameda, Auditorio Roció Jurado, Hotel Triana, and the Plaza de Toros.

You can buy tickets online (http://www.generaltickets.com/sevilla/) at the Teatro Lope de Vega; 11am-2pm and 6pm to 9pm, Tue-Sat, at the Teatro de la Maestranza from 1st September; 10am -2pm, and 5.30pm -8.30pm, at FNAC on Av Constitución, or on the day of the event one hour before. You need to hurry though because some places are sold out already.

Prices start from €8 to €30, enjoy.

The Veggie Star

Finally found a restaurant with a decent selection of veggies on the menu.

I love Spanish food, paella, solomillo al whisky, flamenquin, and jamon, but sometimes I get frustrated with the lack of veggies on the menus. I eat out at least once a week, and like to try something different every time I go out, but after five years here that's quite difficult.

But last night we discovered a new place called La Estrella (Calle de la Estrella, 1, 41004 Sevilla, 954 213 379). We chose to sit outside, away from the smoky den, and had views of the tower of Iglesia San Isidoro.
"But they have at least three new vegetable dishes" I said. Normally it's just espinicas on the menu, but there was cauliflower with cheese, stufffed aubergines, and courgettes with béchamel, as well as the usual tapas.


The service was great, and they even wrapped up what we couldn't finish in paper foil so we can have it for lunch today. I definitely recommend the Star for it's veggies...

U2 Change Date to Thursday 30th of September.

U2 are coming to Seville. After the success of Madonna and Alejandro Sanz, U2 will be blasting out their tunes at the Olympic Stadium in Cartuja on Thursday 30th of September.

The concert was originally set for the 29th, but due to the general strike in Spain they have changed the dates.

I booked my tickets ages ago, but there are stilll some left. You can buy them on the link here:

http://www.ticketmaster.es/event/0200433CC20D33C4artistid=736365&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=1

I've not been to the Olympic Stadium before but it's a pain to get to. You can walk from the centre which will take between 30 and 40 minutes, get a taxi which will cost about €10, or get the C3 bus.

Couple of articles for simonseeks.com

Hey guys,

Here's a couple of links to some articles I've written for simonseeks.com. It's a great website with loads of travel guides. I'm hoping to become their expert on Seville, so have a look at the articles and let me know what you think.

http://www.simonseeks.com/travel-guides/feel-duende-flamenco-shows-seville__168098

http://www.simonseeks.com/travel-guides/top-class-cuisine-seville__168320

Last night Sevilla F.C got off to a dodgy start to their champions league campaign with a 1v0 loss to Portugal's Sporting. It was a dull game compared to the 3v1 victory against Barca the other night. Sevilla started off well, but it looks like they need a couple more games until they are all match fit. The second leg is next Tuesday, 24th, Kick Off 20.45 Spanish time.

Excuse me Señor, can I have my boat back, please?

Plaza España used to be a place to ride gondolas and feed the ducks. It was only ten years ago when local grandparents could take their kids down to the moat, with yesterday’s old bread, and feed the ducks having a swim in one of Sevilla’s most famous attractions.

The good news is the moat is on its way back. Luckily for Sevillianos, tourists, and expats, the local council is reconstructing Plaza España like before so that we can have a ride on a gondola similar to those in Venice. It’s about time the Sevilliano kids had something else to do in the city apart from ride their bike round Parque Maria Luisa, walk by the river, or sit at home all day playing on the latest console. I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to have a go on a gondola. And what happens if Sevilla, Betis, or Spain won another trophy? Surely the city would have to use the new moat as a place to celebrate? Imagine the photos.

The bad news is we don’t know how long it’s going to take. Generations may pass before we get a chance to take our kids down there. Maybe I’ll have to settle with taking my grandkids there instead. Also, will there be problems with the mala leche - scum - of Sevilla? I can imagine the niñatos - chavs - will be up for causing havoc once the boats are up and running.

Here's a picture of what one smart niñato did to a photo down there. From this angle it looks like a duck walking under the arch.

But if you look close enough to can see what it is.

Chewing gum.


I’d recommend popping down to see the exhibition by the square. There are a few old photos of what the plaza looked like when there was water. I’ve taken a few photos so you can have a look, but it’s worth going down there to see the progress, and try to be one of the first on the new gondolas.

Dia de la Virgen de los Reyes

I’d never seen the procession of the Virgen de los Reyes before this morning. Getting up at 7am on a Sunday isn’t my idea of fun, especially after celebrating Sevilla’s 3v1 victory over Barca last night, but it was worth the early morning agony.

The story behind the importance of the Virgen de los Reyes is that Luis IX donated the Virgen when King San Fernando conquered Seville in the 13th century. The legend states that San Fernando had already seen the Virgen in his dreams and she had helped him win Seville back from the Muslims, which is why he chose her for the patron, and why the 15th of August is such an important day for Sevillanos.

The Virgen de los Reyes only leaves the Cathedral on the 15th of August. During Semana Santa, all the other Virgens and Christs from the processions salute her as they pass through the Cathedral. Every time Sevilla F.C win a trophy they offer it to the Virgen de los Reyes as a matter of pride. She always lets them keep the trophy.
We had a great spot on the corner of Alemanes and Avenida de Constitucion. We had to get there for about 7.40am, the Virgen leaves at 8am. The procession began with its normal brass band, and was followed by members of the association. Then the Virgen came waltzing down Calle Alemanes until it stopped at the end facing the sun.
“Watch now,’ my fiancee’s father said. “The sun will shine on her face.” The procession was timed to perfection. As the choir sang the sun passed round and lit up the Virgen. Then she continued her route along the Avenue and back to the Cathedral.

Here’s the video if you’re a fan, if not then skip to the funny one below.



This was taken a couple of hours after. Notice the bloke in the sexy pink tie. He was sitting on the steps of the Cathedral singing and clapping to Sevillanos and tourists. Sometimes the heat over here does strange things to people, and he’s first hand evidence.

Knight and Day: One month of filming for that?

Watched Knight and Day last night, and must say I was disappointed. After trying to get a peak of Tom Cruise and, mainly, Cameron Diaz, when they were filming in Seville last November, I was expecting an action packed blockbuster based mostly in Seville. It wasn't until the last twenty minutes until Tom Cruise bolted round the centre of Seville, and Cadiz, with Diaz strapped to his back. It was over in a flash.

The parts of Seville that appear in the film are Plaza Nueva and the Town Hall, Calle Francos and the restaurant Placentines, and Plaza Virgen de los Reyes. I did like the part when Cruise and Diaz almost collided with the new trams.

After the bullsup, excuse the pun, in Cadiz where a handful of bulls escaped and run riot through the town centre, ending up paddling on the beach, I thought more of the film would have been dedicated to gaditanos – people from Cadiz. But all we saw was a bit of a chase through the streets and a ten second lap of the Bullring.

You can see most of Seville and Cadiz scenes on the trailer here; it’s at the end.



I was expecting a better plot; the storyline was poor compared to the Mission Impossible series, but the effects and chases were entertaining. This best part was when Cruise appeared out of nowhere after you see his motorbike crash into the river.
Next time there’s a blockbuster in Seville I won’t waste so much time trying to get in it, there’s got to be an easier way to get on Television.

Looking for a job teaching in Seville?

It was almost five years ago that I arrived in Seville hoping to find a job teaching. I was lucky; within 24 hours I’d found a flat in Triana and a job at Giralda Centre. Fair enough my roommates turned out to be a handful, and I only stayed with Giralda centre for one year (more on that later), but it was a start, and if I hadn’t taken the plunge, then now I’d probably be a primary school teacher in Bognor.


When to arrive

The best time to arrive in Seville looking for work is the last weekend in August. A lot of language academies are closed at the moment but once they open you want to be the first to hand in your CV in person. You could get ahead of yourself by sending your CV now, but you really need to show your face, whether it’s pretty or not, to show that you are keen on living and working in Seville.

How to get a job

Once you arrive, get some smart clothes on, grab a cold bottle of water because it’s still going to be in the 40’s, and get walking. In my first week here I went round to all the language academies. I learnt the lesson that between 2pm and 6pm no one is about, so take a break.

You need to speak with the director or Head of recruitment for the larger institutions. If they are not around then get their name and book an appointment to see or telephone them. Some of the larger academies will just take your CV and chuck it on the pile with the rest, but you need to pester if you’re keen on finding a job. Don’t take no for an answer.

This is the technique I used in Ecuador, Brazil, Australia, and Seville. I found jobs in all places within a week, maybe they weren’t great places to start, but be patient.

What you need to get a job

• Cambridge Celta or Trinity Tesol. (No Teltas; dodgy Celta’s from Thailand)

• For the best academies you need at least a year’s experience, sometimes two.

• A working knowledge of Spanish is a bonus.

• Patience. The kids and teenagers can be hectic at times, but they’re normally all right.

• Basic IT skills. A lot of academies are using white board technology.

• A passion to teach. A lot of teachers come here but don’t enjoy teaching, they rarely last more than one year.

• A copy of English Grammar in Use by Raymond Murphy. Especially if you’re teaching adults, Sevillianos want to know why for everything.

A lot of Language Academies do their recruitment on-line. Here are some links to Language Academies.

I work for English Language Institute. We are looking for teachers at the moment. http://www.eli.es/es/pages/4/work-with-us.html

The British Institute; our main rivals, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if I gave you their details. http://www.ibsevilla.es/work.html

Clic. I’ve heard good references from teachers working here. They also offer teacher training courses. http://www.clic.es/en/about-clic-ih/work-with-clic-ih.html

Linc. An old mate used to work here; he said it was all right.
http://www.lincspanishschool.com/linc-contact.php

I worked here in my first year. If I hadn’t then I’d never have the lady of my life, yes she was my student. Be careful here though because they didn’t used to give you a long term contract, but maybe things have changed.
http://www.giraldacenter.com/contact.asp

A couple of my mates work here; also good to work for.
http://www.emacarena.com/

The rest of these I don’t know much about, but you can give them a try.
http://www.passportsevilla.com/

http://www.berlitz.es/

http://www.cccs.es/

http://www.stjames.es/

http://www.wsi.es/

http://www.londoncentre.es/

http://www.english1sevilla.com/masinfo.htm  

Last words of wisdom

If you like small cities with lots of bars, restaurants, and places to visit at the weekend then Seville could be ideal for you. I found it hard in my first two years to get used to the culture and relaxed way of life and sometimes I have those ‘Hate Sevilla’ days when I wish I was somewhere else, but Seville has a lot to offer EFL Teachers looking for an authentic Spanish lifestyle.

To be a guiri, or not to be a guiri...

I am a guiri, have been for five years and probably will be for the rest of my life. I love it at times, but is it all that?

The official definition of a guiri is a foreigner or tourist in Spain. Whether you're a beered up Brit, sandal loving German, or baseball loving American, then the Spanish will see you as a guiri, no matter how long you stay.

The other day I was out walking with my fiancée and dog down San Jose Street just past the tapas bar Levies. The pavement on San Jose can be thin at times so we were walking in the road when this mad old Spanish bloke (mad because he was wearing a shirt and trousers in 40 degree heat) jogged into the road so that we could pass.
"Extranjeros primera, extranjeros primera," he said, smiling. He was being polite, moving out the way so that we could continue on the pavement. The funny thing was that he assumed my Spanish fiancée was a guiri too; it happens a lot due to her fair skin and hair.

Sevillanos aren’t always pleasant to guiris though. The other Sunday morning we were blatantly overcharged for breakfast in Alfalfa because the waiter thought we were guiris. When Chia started speaking in her Andaluz accent the waiter apologized and brought out the new, €3 cheaper, bill.

On various other occasions I’ve been overcharged for things so I’ve turned into a picky paranoid customer, checking every bill in case anyone is trying to get one over me, especially at the moment in the crisis.

Chatting with other Sevillaguiris, I’ve found that once you move out of the centre petty short changing stops. I work in Montequinto, a small town outside, and there no one would dream of treating you different.

Life can be great, but also hard, as a guiri. Apart from the obvious reasons of excellent weather, better food, and missing family and friends at home, here my top 6 reasons why I like and dislike being a guiri.

Pros

1- When the weekend arrives, in my case on Friday afternoon, I feel like I’m on holiday.

2- There’s more time. Working a 35 hour week gives much more time to enjoy the finer things in life, such as travelling, sampling good wine, and learning how to juggle.

3- The buzz. I still get that buzz when I wake up in the morning and remember that I live in Spain, and not in drizzly England.

4- Football. Sorry lads, but if you didn’t know then we get 2 live Premiership and 2 La Liga games every week, for free.

5- Speaking two languages. If I hadn’t made the plunge and decided to live in Spain, then I’d never have learnt Spanish. It’s a bizarre experience and something I recommend to everyone.

6- The simple life. In England everyone is busy rushing about trying to do this and that, earn as much as they can, and stress themselves out. I’m not saying living here is easy, but it’s simpler, and less stressful.

Cons

1- Not being able to pronounce my name. I’m not as gifted as other guiris at rolling their r’s. Saying my name is a chore. I normally end up getting called Bally, but now that Barry is playing for Manchester City more people know it.

2- Telephoning. This stems from number 1. Sometimes it’s impossible for me to order a pizza, try to change my mobile plan, query a doubt on my telefonica bill, because I can’t speak Andaluz. I normally go to the shop.

3- Cars not stopping at zebra crossings. This isn’t only for guiris, but it drives me mad. The worst are taxis, they’d sooner run over your foot that lose a couple of centimos stopping.

4- Football. Yeah, I know it’s a pro, but I do miss a good bit of footy banter and a live Prem game now and then. La Liga is good, but it’s just not the same.

5- The dry British sense of humour. I’ve lived with five different Spanish lads and none of them had a similar sense of humour. That’s not true for everyone, but generally a lot of my jokes go astray.

6- Knowing that I’ll always be a guiri. No matter how much I improve my Spanish or how many kids we have; I’ll always be el guiri inglés who can’t say his own name.

Fellow Sevillaguiris may agree, or disagree with my top 6, feel free to leave a comment. If you’re thinking of coming to live in Seville then I’d recommend it, that’s if you like the simple life, and especially if you can roll your r’s.

I wouldn't change being a guiri for the world.
 

Sevillexpat begins

It's hard not to mention the weather in my first blog, but even as I type beads of sweat are trickling down temples about to splash on Pepa, my westie dog, lying on the marble floor. Yes, it's August the 8th, 5pm, half time in the charity shield (Manu winning 1 v 0 against Chelsea) and it's roasting here in Seville.

Sunday's in Seville can get dull, I'm being honest, but in August Seville turns into a ghost town as everyone carts off to the beach or anywhere else where there is a glimmer of breeze in the air.

I hope you enjoy this blog. I plan to write about Seville, the life here, what it's really like being a guiri engaged to a Sevilliana in Spain's hottest city. I'll also write about cities and towns near Seville where I've visited and keep an eye on La Liga. Feel free to leave any comments or ask for information if you're travelling to the area.